Just as many people seem to be misinformed on the essence of being a southern gentleman as there are on being a southern belle. On the popular eHow website, the first item in the list on How to be a Real Southern Gentleman advises one to get the right clothes. Another author on this same site advises men to "dress the part." In fact, the list looks something like this...
- Get the right clothes
- Tip your hat to the ladies
- Talk with a drawl
- Race her to her chair
- Know how to appreciate a good meal
- Offer assistance
- Flirt shamelessly
Well, I declare! There you have it. No need to read further. Simply tip your hat to every lady in the restaurant while boltin' to your table, winkin' all the way. And that should do it.
However, should you want to cultivate the essence and attributes of a true southern gentleman and not merely be a poser, then maybe you should read on.
A Southern Gentleman is not recognized by what he wears, or where he lives, or how many diplomas he's earned or what is sitting in his bank account. A Southern Gentleman is recognized for who he is, and who he is exudes from every pore of his being, including his character, his speech, his actions, his thoughtfulness, and his respect for all life, especially ladies. A southern gentleman has a reputation as one who can be counted on to do the right thing, the right way. Why? Because his mother taught him from the moment he was born to obey a higher calling.
To be an authentic Southern Gentleman, you must cultivate...
- Reverence for God and women,
- Strength of Character, including Integrity, Magnanimity, Chivalry,
- Respect for family, heritage and traditions
- Becoming an excellent provider and protector
- Being Responsible, Ethical, and Just
- Impeccable manners,
- Exuding warmth, kindness, and charm,
- And most of all, possessing a servant's heart.
Daniel Hindley, a Harvard-trained lawyer from Alabama who wrote on the subject in 1860, described the Southern Gentleman as having a natural dignity of manner and the utmost self-possession – that much coveted savoir faire, which causes a man to appear perfectly at home, whether it be in a hut or a palace. He is remarkably easy and natural, never haughty in appearance, or loud of voice – even when angry rarely raising his voice above the ordinary tone of gentlemanly conversation.
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Great points, all. I love that you stressed that it is not about the clothes or financial standing, a Southern Gentleman should be the model for any genteel folk, at ease in shack or manor, just as willing to clean out the stable as sit on a board meeting. Most importantly, to be comfortable with everyone, farmer, day worker or CEO; child, beauty or senior.
I think I might want to put some of these attribute on my New Years Resolution. Just to remind myself of who I strive to be, right?
Posted by: Jane | Sunday, January 02, 2011 at 04:40 PM
I had dinner with 2 couples on new years day who were not from the U.S., and everyone said that they loved living in the south because of the people. All of them had traveled extensively, and they live here now because of the people.
Posted by: Larry | Monday, January 03, 2011 at 07:08 AM
Susan, I think your Dad is a good example of a Southern Gentleman. We have been friends for over 50 years, and I will testify that he meets all the 8 characteristics in your list.
Posted by: Prentice | Monday, January 03, 2011 at 09:44 AM
I have been very blessed not only to have a Dad who is the quintessential southern gentleman, but so are his friends, his sons, and his son's friends.
He has set a very high bar for potential suitors!
Susan
Posted by: Susan | Monday, January 03, 2011 at 12:39 PM
Very informative! My husband is one of these....on most days...ha.
Posted by: Susan with Permanent Posies | Tuesday, January 11, 2011 at 12:17 PM
What a wonderful post!
I loved these philosophies...and not just for people in the South.
I'm going to try out the 'flirt shamelessly' on my husband and see what happens! ha!
Thanks for a fun link to Alphabe-Thursday.
It's always such a joy to visit you.
A+
Posted by: Jenny Matlock | Tuesday, January 11, 2011 at 02:49 PM
Your Dad sounds like a most wonderful person! I read the comments.) These are truly great characteristics!
Posted by: Splendid Little Stars | Tuesday, January 11, 2011 at 10:16 PM
I think my husband may be a southern gentleman! Except, of course, for one thing. He's from Illinois.
But he sure has the rest of it down pat.
;)
Posted by: Sue | Wednesday, January 12, 2011 at 02:24 PM
I saw the ehow article as well...hmmm, it was lacking! Love your take!
Posted by: Bella | Saturday, May 14, 2011 at 01:45 PM